First of all, who doesn’t have inner turmoil…..especially if your young and happen to be gay/lesbian, which i am. I’m still going through the 5 stages of grief, back in 7th grade i knew i was gay but i denied it and tried my hardest to think i liked girls and not get hard-ons during gym. 8th and 9th i was angry at myself for not having the courage to tell people that i was gay except for my best friend, which also created the beginnings of the depression where then the school social worker put me in group therapy. In 10th i was bargaining with myself and my best friend to tell people that i was gay and accept more people into my life. In 11th and 12th i was in a spiraling depression, so bad that my school had to hire a therapist to see me every week. And now i’m kinda in my acceptance stage where i have a love/hate relationship with my sexuality. And to answer the second question i had major suicidal thoughts hence the therapy plus copious amounts of pain-killers non of which were doctor prescribed…..except when i sprained my ankle playing volleyball…those pain-killers were amazing……